jurassicjack

Back in the apartment, I was determined to achieve some kind of clarity. I searched through the place for paper and a pen, to compare my handwriting.

I didn’t know what my own handwriting looked like. I had no recollection of ever having seen it. I had two possible clues to my identity (that is, if you count “for cigarettes” as a potential clue), and all I needed was to know if I wrote them or not.

I was a bit surprised I hadn’t forgotten how to write, to be honest. But as my hand, with a sense of automaticity and grace, flicked across the paper, it became evident that this wasn’t the case.

I was the one who had written Empires on my hand. Even though the letters were a bit clumsier than the ones I had just scribbled, and the marker it was written with looked like it had been about to run dry, it was clear that it was the same hand that had written both. And it didn’t take much logic to figure out that this meant that I was not the one responsible for the “for cigarettes” note. I began to realize what that had to mean: I was not the only one with access to this apartment.

 

Everything in the apartment was neatly placed, as if it had never been used. Like it was exactly how the decorator had wanted it to look for the spread in the IKEA catalogue. And yet the apartment had everything you could possibly need.

A Macbook Pro was sitting on the kitchen counter – I grabbed it and sat down in the couch. After the few seconds it took me to type in “Empires” and wait for the results, I was presented with what I can only describe as undeniably anticlimactic. Countless amounts of hits regarding Age of Empires - a videogame about war, basically – filled the page.

Doubting this was the clue I needed to prove my existence, I scrolled down, and finally found what could be what I was looking for. A band. Desperate for any kind of clue, I downloaded the album and waited.

 

I don’t know quite what I was expecting. But listening to the record brought back tiny fragments of memories – all from the same night. Glimpses of faces, of conversations, flushed in over me, and overwhelmed to the point where I started crying.

 

Regaining a lost identity might not turn out to be as easy as I’d expected.

I needed a cigarette. I didn’t even know if I smoked or not, but I needed a fucking cigarette.

I explored the apartment – it proved to be surprisingly spacey. The bedroom I’d woken up in was directly attached to a walk-in closet and a ridiculously large bathroom. If one could make it down the hall without getting lost, you would find a living room/kitchen, and a TV that took up most of the wall it was placed on.

Everything about the apartment creeped me out. But it seemed too perfect to be a coincidence. I was supposed to be here, I knew that. The closet contained nothing by clothes my size. The refrigerator was full. Clearly, someone was meant to live here – and chances were that someone was me.

I had to get cigarettes. I needed cash to buy some, cash I wasn’t sure I had. But in the kitchen was a 10$ bill and a note: “For cigarettes”. I stared at the note for the better part of two minutes, until I grabbed it and the set of keys next to it, and stuffed it in the pocket of a pair of jeans I found in the closet. I ran down the stairs and onto the street – clearly in the higher end of town. I found a drug store, and as soon as the clerk saw me, he smiled and placed 20 Marlboro Red on the counter. I guess I did smoke. I nodded, grabbed a lighter, and lay down the bill. I contemplated asking him something like “Who am I?” but on second thought, that seemed creepy. I walked out of the store and lit a cigarette. I was not even remotely closer to who I am, but at least now I had smokes.

I am starting over. I am turning over a new leaf. This is it. This is new. This is me. Enjoy.

 

 

I can’t remember a thing. Honestly. Not a single thing from before I woke up.

My name is Hayley Valmont – at least it is now – and I have no idea who I am. I woke up in an apartment stripped of anything personal, without a trace of who I could be, exactly three months ago. The apartment was mostly white and chrome, far too clinical to be a real home. I was wearing a completely clean white shirt.

The only evidence that I had once existed in the real world, was “Empires” scrawled in black marker on my right hand. I didn’t know where in the world I was, what my name was, where I came from or what I was going to do next. This “Empires”, whatever it meant, was the only clue I had.

it's funny how everything and nothing can change at the same time.

Who wants to help me get drunk enough to forget the last two years completely?

Please, PLEASE go to this site:

www.warped.battleofthebands.com

sign up, and vote for RELUCTANT HERO TO PLAY IN VENTURA, CA.

Thank you. :D

Go see Enter Shikari. It'll be the best thing you ever do.

Same thing goes for SXSW.

YOU BETTER BE NICE TO THEM, WE MISS THEM OVER HERE IN EUROPE.

:') <3

to this town, that has ears and eyes.
- A Day To Remember

I am seriously thinking of getting the fuck out of here. I know exactly where to go and I can't stand this anymore.

Tell me it's a bad idea or I just might do it. I just have to get away from my fucking dad.

HIIIII GUYS! *bounces*
I haven't talked to any of you in a while, so I think it's time for a mile long surveything as a bonding exercise. (no, I can't believe I just said that either)
so anyway. BRING ON THE STEREOTYPES!

Scene Kid

[x] You know what sXe and hXc actually mean.

[ ] You have a obsession with dinosaurs, robots, and/or Pokemon.

[ ] You idolize Jeffree Starr

[x] People have called you scene before.

[ ] You spend at least an hour getting ready to take pictures of yourself

[ ] You have a mirror pic

[x] You enjoy going to shows

[ ] You only go to shows for the sake of going to shows, not the music.

[ ] Your hair is multicolored.

[ ] You accessorize your hair with kiddie barrettes and bows.

[ ] Fashion is one of the most important things that define you.

[x] You mosh. Sometimes.

[ ] You often mix vintage with modern.

[x] Your picture captions are sad lyrics to sad songs.[sometimes i suppose. mostly it's just good lyrics from good songs.]

[ ] All of your friends are scene.

[x] You don't know many of the people on your friends list in person.

[ ] You take angled pictures of yourself.

[ ] You enjoy photography.

Total: 6

 

Prep

[ ] You pop the collar

[ ] You wont go near the Goths.

[x] You own at least one thing from a designer store. [I have a burberry jacket. Fuck y'all, it keeps me warm and its purty.]

[ ] You are very clean cut.

[ ] You are squeamish

[ ] People have called you preppy before.

[ ] You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume

[ ] You have a lot of money.

[ ] You know who LC is.

[ ] You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach.

[ ] One favorite stores are Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters.

[ ] You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic.

[ ] (Girls) You carry a purse wherever you go.

[x] You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready.

[ ](Girls) You do not leave the house without make up.

[x] You are content overall with how your life is going.

Total: 3

 

Band Geek

[x] You have played an instrument before.

[x] You still play an instrument.

[x] You are/were in regular Band.

[ ] You are/were in Jazz Band.

[ ] You are/were in Marching Band

[ ] You've never dated anybody outside of Band.

[x] Most of your friends are in band.

[ ] The band room/band hall is your second home.

[ ] You enjoy listening to classical music on occasion.

[ ] You aspire(d) to be a Drum Major.

[ ] You've made out with somebody on a band bus or at a band competition.

[ ] You have trouble getting your non-band friends to go near the band room.

[x] Band is your favorite class.

[ ] You have been to band camp.

[ ] You walk in step with all your friends.

[ ] You talk about band constantly.

[ ] You know that American Pie has got it all wrong.

[ ] You rap music.

[ ] Marching Season is your favorite time of year.

[ ] When you go to football games, you don't really pay attention to the game itself.

[ ] Your favorite jokes are band jokes.

[ ] You know it's not about the bloods and the crips: it's the brass and the woodwinds.

Total: 5

 

Theatre Geek

[x] You have seen a school play.

[ ] You have seen a Broadway musical

[x] You like to act.

[x] You have participated in a school play.

[ ] You have participated in a play outside of school

[ ] You have gone to the Thespian Conference (State or International or both)

[ ] You get P'ed off when people make that thespian, did you say lesbian?

[ ] You have been stage crew/lighting/etc

[ ] You know that you cannot touch anybody else's props.

[ ] You have played in the pit orchestra for a musical.

[x] You have been to a cast party.

[ ] You are in a thespian troupe.

[ ] You often sing show tunes at the top of your lungs.

[ ] You know who Idina Menzel and Johnathan Larson are

[ ] At one point in your life, you were obsessed with RENT.

[ ] You do not have a personal bubble.

[ ] You actually understand Shakespeare.

[ ] You know how to put on stage make up.

[x] You have been a lead.

[ ] You met a lot of your better friends through theatre.

Total: 5

 

Overachiever

[ ] You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities.

[ ] You have a part-time job.

[ ] You have straight As.

[ ] You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes.

[ ] You do not procrastinate.

[ ] You have scored a 5 on an AP test.

[ ] You do not have very much down time.

[ ] You are very organized.

[x] You always have a thousand things going on at once.

[ ] You are in a long-term relationship.

[ ] You aspire to get into an Ivy League School.

[ ] In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions.

[x] You are/were on Student Council.

[x] You are/were the class president.

[ ] You are/were a class officer.

[ ] You are/were the Salutatorian for your class.

[ ] You are/were the Valedictorian for your class.

[x] People have told you that you didn't have a life.

[ ] You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma.

[x] You cry when you get anything lower than an A on anything. [ok, not lower than an a, but i cry at bad grades. deal w/ it.]

Total:  5

 

Slacker

[ ]Your grades are slipping.

[x] You always wait until the last minute to do big projects.

[x] You do a lot of things half-assed.

[x] You are an overall procrastinator.

[x] You tend to do your homework when you're watching TV.

[x] It takes you ages to turn your job applications in.

[x] You are often late to school/work.

[ ] You don't turn in a lot of your work.

[x] You spend the majority of your time watching TV, or going on the computer when you could be doing something more productive.

[x] You sleep in past noon on the weekends and during the summer.

[x] You do not get out of your pajamas unless you have to leave the house.

[ ] You could walk, but you'll just drive.

[ ] You have fallen asleep during class before.

[ ] Friends have called you lazy.

[x] Life is hard when you lose the remote & you have to walk a million miles over to the TV and change the channel.

[ ] When you hang out with your friends, the majority of your time is spent playing video games or doing something where neither of you have to stand up.

[x] You have eaten an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting.

[x] You have sat through an entire running marathon of a show before.

Total: 12 [uh oh]

 

Goth

[x] Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things.

[ ] When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic

[x] You have/want to get a tattoo.

[ ] You have/want to get a piercing.

[ ] You don't get along with your parents.

[x] You have/want to dyed/dye your hair an exotic color.

[ ] You've styled your hair in liberty spikes.

[x] Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life

[ ] You like to write dark poetry.

[ ] You are into S&M.

[ ] You have a pair of oversized black pants.

[x] At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends. [I WAS 12]

[ ] You listen to grunge.

[ ] You have/had a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps.

[x] You smoke cigarettes. [how is this goth?]

[ ] You will only date other Goths.

[x] You don't really care what people think about you.

[ ] You like black makeup & nail polish.

Total: 7

 

 

Nerd

[x] You actually study for tests and quizzes.

[ ] You have straight As.

[ ] You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex.

[ ] You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo.

[x] You overanalyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore.

[ ] Your mom buys your clothes for you.

[x] You actually answer the questions in class.

[ ] You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience.

[ ] You miss school during the summer.

[ ] You wear your pants at your waist.

[ ] You prefer sweatpants to jeans.

[ ] You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it.

[ ] You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed.

[x] You've noticed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey.

[x] People always cheat off you during tests.

[x] Parents pack your lunch for you every day.

[x] You wear/should be wearing glasses.

Total: 7

 

Garage Band Junkie

[x] You play the guitar.

[ ] You have been in a garage band before.

[ ] You're still in a garage band.

[ ] You think your band is going to make it big someday.

[ ] You play shows almost weekly.

[ ] You play the drums

[x] You sing/sang vocals for a band.

[ ] You write your own lyrics.

[ ] You spend hundreds on amps and microphones.

[ ] Your band has a page.

[ ] You have been in multiple garage bands.

[ ] You have changed the name of your band at least twice.

[ ] You have participated in a battle of the bands

[ ] Your band has been signed.

[ ] You have taken guitar classes at school.

[ ] You have played at the same venue multiple times.

[ ] You would rather make it big than have to go to college.

[x] You have musical talent.

[ ] You have groupies.

[ ] Youve made t-shirts and other apparel for your band.

Total: 3

 

Gangstaaa

[ ] You actually are black.

[ x] You know who the bloods and the crips are

[ ] You wear doo-rags. [I wear whatnow?]

[ ] You actually grew up in the ghetto.

[ ] You can freestyle.

[x] You drive down the street blaring your music.

[ ] Your ride is pimped out with stereo boosts.

[ ] You can break dance.

[ ] You say nigga a lot.

[x] You talk too fast for people to understand you.

[ ] You are pretty chill with life.

[ ] You wear your jeans oversized and below your ass.

[ ] Old school rap is the best.

[ ] You know that Tupac will never die.

[ ] You wear bling.

[ ] You have/want a custom grill.

[ ] You have custom rims on your tires.

[ ] You are actually in a gang.

[ ] You are always big pimpin

Total: 3 [I am positively the whitest girl on the block, what did you expect?]

 

Emo

[x] You often have trouble convincing people that you aren't emo.

[ ] You comb your hair over one of your eyes.

[ ] You flip your hair often.

[x] You have dark-rimmed glasses.

[x] You have hurt yourself on purpose.

[ ] If you're a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight.

[ ] You don't really smile too often.

[ ] You blog often.

[ ] You never smile in pictures.

[ ] You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate.

[ ] You're too much of a to be a goth

[x] You own a lot of band t-shirts.

[x] You go to a lot of shows. [mostly local]

[x] It doesn't take very much to make you cry. [on my off days]

[ ] You have played all the Emo Games [someone share what this is with me?]

[x] You have worn black eyeliner before

[x] You own a bandana in which you wear in your hair

[ ] You have dark hair.

[ ] You love the emo song

[ ] You say stuff like "I feel like my heart's being ripped out."

Total: 8

 

Skatepunk

[ ] You own a skateboard.

[ ] You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school.

[ ] You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding.

[ ] You know that World Industries and Element aren't just clothing lines.

[ ] You have vandalized public property.

[ ] You have TPed/egged somebody's house before.

[ ] You have been yelled at for loitering.

[ ] You have gotten in trouble with the cops.

[ ] You listen to punk rock.

[ ] Chicks on skateboards are hot.

[ ] You stick it to the man.

[x] You own skater shoes.

[ ] You watch MTV2, not MTV.

[x] You enjoy crude humor.

[ ] Screw school, lets do crazy stuff

[x] You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk.

[ ] You pretty much live at the skate park.

[ ] Hygene does not concern you.

[x] Skater boys are attractive.

Total: 4

 

Metalhead

[x] Most people are scared of your music.

[ ] A lot of the bands you like have violent names/titles/lyrics.

[ ] You hate emo kids.

[ ] You have gotten kicked out of a public place multiple times before.

[x] Slipknot isn't really metal.

[x] You appreciate really good guitarists of any genre.

[ ] You hate pop and rap.

[x] You spend all your money on music-related stuff.

[x] Scene kids are fun to laugh at. 

[ ] You will become friends with anyone if they like the same bands.

[x] You curse a lot.

[ ] You can name at least five subgenres of metal.

[x] You wore black converses before they became emo. [since kindergarten! Haha]

[ ] At least one of your favorite bands thinks they're vikings.

[ ] You also like classic rock, such as Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd.

Total: 7

I WILL NEVER BELIEVE IN ANYTHING AAAAGAAAAAIIIIIIIIN!

Sorry.

 

I'm sorry I haven't been posting... At all, really. Two things are mainly influential on this: I've re-found my joy of reading (read twilight. loved it. what the actual fuck.) I'm reading the 2nd harry potter book right now, and I plan on being finished with them all in approximately two weeks, seeing that I'm going back to school monday, so I won't be able to read 16 hours a day. Also, I don't really have anything important to say, but when I do I post on my tumblr. www.deconstructbydesign.tumblr.com

 

So, I really only have one important thing to say, and if you know me well you've probably already figured out what it is.

PLEASE GO HERE AND LISTEN!

www.myspace.com/letstalktactics

 

that is all. i love you.

 

xo

Went to the doctors. Had some bloodtests done. My Vitamin D level is below half of what it's minimum supposed to be.

WHOO, BRING ON THE DRUGS

I am SICK. Like really sick.

And not sick like this:


Or like this:


But like this:


I have the flu. The only reason I'm even sitting up right now is because I'm on a LOT of painkillers.
I get dizzy when I stand up. I have a fever, I'm nauseaus, and I just sleep all the time.
My mom is out buying a thermometer to make sure I'm not dying. I hate thermometers.

I love you all. My head hurts.

xoxo

Yep, you read it. Finally, after an entire hour of struggling, I think I might have found the camera I'm getting. Sure, it costs twice as much money as I have, and sure, I'll be in debt to my parents forever, but LOOKIT. 'TIS BEAUTIFUL.
AND IT HAS 10 FUCKING MEGAPIXELS.











Picspamming a camera. Oh my god I am so lame.

xo

www.deconstructbydesign.tumblr.com

Check in every once in a while. I get weird(er) over there.

Tomorrow I will be heading down to my local cameraguy. His name isn't Jack, but he knows a hella lot about cameras.
Because I'm doing something new. I'm getting a camera, a proper one. Because I want to be able to have pictures to commemorate the good times I had.

This is mostly inspired by Martins old picture updates, they've made me realise I have no pictures of the times that I want to remember.

So get prepared.

xoxo

1

Where did your last kiss take place?
Best friends house. New years eve. Drunk.

2
Who knows a secret or two about you?
Jess.


3
Four words to explain why you last threw up?
It's been a while.

4
Have you ever burned yourself?
Of course, I'm an idiot remember?

5
What's crazy to you?
Idunno.

6
Favorite cuss word:
ALL OF THEM.
No, seriously, probably just fuck.

7
Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
I don't know... Wish I did though, I would laugh.

8
Who is your hero?
We don't need anymore heroes, we just need someone to take out the recycling.
No, seriously, Batman, Matthew Davies and Banksy.


9
Would you ever want to be a supermodel?
I would never be skinny enough to be a supermodel.

10
Who is the most experimental person you know?
I have no idea.

11
Do you tell white lies?
Rarely actually.

12
When is your next party?
Don't know.


13
Who do you want to be with right now?
MICHAEL CERA!

14
Do you scratch when and where you want to scratch?
God no. ew.

15
How do you handle a break up?
Tears, Mean Girls & Ice cream.
Which is funny since I'm always the one doing the dumping.


16
Your motivation for tomorrow?
The fact that it's friday.


17
Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?
Gstar jeans & a Jimmy Eat World shirt.

18
Last person to make you laugh?
Michael Cera? :D

19
Last thing you ate?
Lunch.

20
Do u ever go a few days without changing your underwear?
Hahaha, no.

21
Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect?
Haha, no, but I've inhaled one on accident. through my nose. I WAS ONE A BIKE, SHUT UP.

22
Do daddy long legs freak you out?
YES.

23
Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit?
No. Thank god.

24
Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?
Probably.

25
Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?
Yes. They're chinchillas, what.

26
Do you talk baby talk?
God no. I want to shoot people who do.

27
What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
All of them, really?

28
Do you watch court tv?
If I could I probably would.

29
Would you ever work in a retirement home?
God no. Depressing.

30
Do you believe plants have feelings?
No.

31
Do you laugh at people with "bowl" haircuts?
Yeah.

32
Do you have nervous twitches?
Yup.

33
Are you ever purposely irritating?
Hahaha, yeah.


34
If you could fly, where would you go first?
London. But after last night I really wanna go to NYC.

35
Do you prefer boats or planes?
Planes.

36
Love or lust?
Love.

37
One best friend or 10 aquaintances?
One best friend.

38
Favorite food?
spghetti bolognese.


39
Do you believe that your first love never dies?
I hope she does. Preferrably I would like to watch.

40
What upcoming event are you waiting and ready for?
Nothing, really..

41
Current smell?
What?

42
Do you get your nails done?
God no.

43
Most favorite person?
Idunno.

44
What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald's?
2 cheeseburgers, large fries and a chocolate milkshake that tasted like strawberry.

45
Are you an emotional person?
Yeah.

46
Do you like your name?
I do.

47
Do you have plans this weekend?
Yeah, sleep.

48
Do you work?
Not right now.

49
Do you dance naked in your room?
No o.O

50
When did your last relationship end?
like 8 months ago.

51
What are you listening to right now?
NCIS.

52
Biggest fear?
Not accomplishing anything in life and ending up old and alone with a bunch of cats and only get my 30 seconds of fame when the ASPCA comes to take them away.

53
How long have you been a part of myspace?
2-3 year or something.

54
Favorite place to be?
At a show.

55
What are you wearing right now?
PJ pants and a fall out boy tshirt.

56
Are your toes painted?
Hahahaha, no.

57
Does anyone hate you?
I hope so.

58
How many people do you trust fully?
Like 3 people. Maybe four.

59
Did you have fun doing this?
Nah.


60
Are you thinking of someone right now?
MICHEAL CERA! :D

I hate my mom. I really do.

That is all.

I'm tired. I'm a bit hung over. I have HUGE hickeys on my neck, and I mean HUGE, and I'm desperately trying to hide them from my dad by wearing a scarf every waking moment, and I'm happy!

I really really love you guys.. Like really.. Because of this place, I have friends. Real friends, people I trust with everything and love talking to.

Thank you.

xoxo

What did y'all get?

I got the following
Fall Out Boy Folie A Deux preorder package Trois (hoodie, 2 tshirts, vinyl, usbbear with footage, all that jazz)
Funeral For A Friend - Casually Dressed & Deep In Conversation (it's their first fulllengt, and the only one I was missing)
A FFAF hoodie that I payed half of and that MATTHEW DAVIES TOUCHED!!!!
Harry Potter 5 on DVD
about $100 (my grandmother is insane and so can't afford that. But I love her)
new sennheiser earplugs
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen (book)

And my christmas present for myself will be two Lets Talk Tactics tshirts and maybe some Clandestine stuff.

What did you get, and what was your favourite gift? I wanna know.
My favourite gift was obviously the FOB package. Folie Á Deux is their best record so far.